Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be - Book Summary & Parenting Tips
Do you dream of having a close, loving relationship with your child as they grow? It all starts with how you connect during their early years. 'Good Inside' by Dr. Becky Kennedy offers practical, heartfelt advice to help you build a strong foundation with your baby or toddler. This easy, relatable read is perfect for busy parents who want to feel understood, not judged, and are looking for real, doable solutions.
WHEN to Read
"Good Inside" is perfect for parents at any stage, but it resonates deeply with those who have children aged 2 and up. This is the time when kids start testing boundaries and exploring their emotions, making Dr. Becky's insights incredibly valuable. So, if you find yourself in the thick of toddlerhood or beyond, grab a cup of coffee and dive in!
WHY We Adore This Book
We adore "Good Inside" because it's written by a mom who's in the trenches just like us. Dr. Becky Kennedy, a mother of three young children, shares her real-life experiences, making her advice relatable and grounded. Unlike those overly polished experts who seem to have it all figured out, Dr. Becky is refreshingly honest about her own parenting struggles and growth. This authenticity is like a warm hug on a tough day, reminding us that we’re all just doing our best.
WHY You Should Read This Book
"Good Inside" offers a roadmap to building a deeply connected and lasting relationship with your child, one that extends into their teen and adult years. It promotes the beautiful idea that parenting is not just about managing behavior but about nurturing a relationship that stands the test of time. If you're dreaming of a close, loving bond with your kids, even when they're grown, this book is a must-read.
Golden Nugget
One word: REPAIR. Dr. Becky emphasizes that it's not about being a perfect parent but about repairing and reconnecting when things go wrong. This concept is a game-changer, relieving the pressure to be flawless and focusing instead on resilience and connection. Make sure to check out the TED Talk and other videos further down in this post where Dr. Becky explains this concept in detail.
Game-Changing Tips & Memorable Quotes
“You Are a Good Parent, and Your Kid Is a Good Kid Having a Bad Moment”
When your little one is having a meltdown, it’s easy to fall into the trap of self-doubt and frustration. Dr. Becky reminds us that a bad moment doesn’t define who we are as parents or who our kids are. Instead of spiraling, we need to take a deep breath and focus on the fact that everyone has rough patches. The key is to find the goodness inside and navigate through these moments with empathy and patience.
“Finding the good inside can often come from asking ourselves one simple question: ‘What is my most generous interpretation of what just happened?’”
Imagine looking at your child's challenging behavior and, instead of jumping to conclusions, you pause and ask yourself what could be the best possible reason behind their actions. This powerful mindset shift helps you see your child's actions through a lens of compassion and understanding, turning frustration into curiosity and connection.
“Now you have your job description: keep your child safe, emotionally and physically, using boundaries, validation, and empathy.”
Think of your primary role as a parent as a protector and guide. Your job isn’t to demand perfection but to create a safe space where your child feels emotionally and physically secure. Boundaries are important, but they need to be set with empathy and understanding. Validating your child's feelings while guiding them gently teaches them that safety and love go hand-in-hand.
Dr. Becky also clarifies what boundaries are not. When we say things like "Please stop hitting your brother!" or "Why do you have to make this so hard?", we're often expecting our kids to manage impulses they’re not yet capable of controlling. Instead, set clear, achievable boundaries that help them learn and grow.
“Many parents see behavior as the measure of who our kids are, rather than using behavior as a clue to what our kids might need.”
Shifting from seeing behavior as a label ("He's a bad kid!") to a signal ("He needs something!") is transformative. This approach encourages you to dig deeper into what your child’s actions are really saying. Maybe a tantrum is not about defiance but about needing more connection or feeling overwhelmed. It’s about prioritizing understanding over punishment.
Dr. Becky emphasizes the importance of connection over correction. It's crucial to remember that our goal is to connect with our kids and understand their needs. It's not about being perfect; it's about being present and responsive. When we repair after tough moments, we teach our children that mistakes don’t define us and that relationships can be mended and strengthened.
